"Khloe after dark, crooked jaw and lifebelt", said Brett proudly, as he sat down at his desk.
Brett was often cryptic, but this blew my mind. I turned from my laptop and looked him in the eyes. "What?"
"Those," said Brett, pausing for effect, "are the three most popular Google searches for today."
I didn’t know where to begin. "Why?" I asked, hoping I wasn't making a mistake. Leaving the room could possibly have been a better option.
"Who knows why people search for stuff," said Brett. "It's driven by the Yanks mostly. They search for some sick and crazy things. The Indians too; and the Chinese. It's a population thing…"
"Stop," I said, raising both my hands. "Why are you telling me the three most popular Google searches for today?"
Brett gave that look he gives when he's very disappointed with me. Like a father who can't believe his son is such a simpleton. "For our blog," he said, slowly. "We want money from people clicking ads on our blog. Ergo, we need site traffic; ergo we need to appear on Google results."
"Ergo we need people to find our blog by searching 'Glow in the dark with a crooked jaw and a lifebelt?"
"Close." said Brett. "Khloe after dark, crooked jaw and lifebelt."
"Our blog is about short fiction and poetry," I said. "Those words and phrases have nothing to do with either."
Brett didn't let that stop him. Perhaps I should have tried harder to stop him myself. The damage is done, now. The ad revenue is improving, though. In six months I'll be able to buy a cup of coffee. Regular, of course; not large.